imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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