This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
