I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
