I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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