just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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