Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
