Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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