I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
