i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
