thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
