Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
