you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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