At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Randomize
