I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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