Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
