I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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