I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize