In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
