dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
