don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
