What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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