No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
