she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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