Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
