That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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