I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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