i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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