Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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