Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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