A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
