Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize