That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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