Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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