LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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