Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.

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(209): View more from California

I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.

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(925): View more from California

Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed

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(970): View more from Colorado

dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits

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(520): View more from Arizona

He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?

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(502): View more from Kentucky

after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you

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