Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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