you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
