If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
