You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
