My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
