So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
