Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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