think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
