Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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