it wasn't lemon gatorade
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
