your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
