I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
