I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
