they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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