HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
