party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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