I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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