We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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