Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
