come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
