Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
